Finally an update

Ok...this has been an amazingly strange and difficult December. I will list what has happened...Caleb came...AWESOME! Then...my niece goes to ER with croup...then my parents are here for CHRISTmas and Mawmaw from TX is here too...and Mawmaw throws up 2 days after CHRISTmas. We are still at this point going to NICU two times a day to hold him skin to skin and try to nurse. Mawmaw gets better thru the night...then Aaron is sick for 8 hours on his day to be home with me and help while folks are out and about with my sis. Then, little Rachel throws up...not much. And here we go...last night little Rachel is struggling with a cough that brings up pain in her throat and makes her feel like she's going to throw up so we are taking her into a steamed bathroom then directly to the cold air outside...a few times in the middle of the night. And while I finally sit down yesterday to play trains with Isaiah he throws up and can't stop. My mom helps me to get things clean then my dad gets home and while he's helping is getting queezy...they leave to go back over to my sisters where they are sleeping and both are sick all night with diahrea!!! SO our night we got maybe 3 hours of sleep with Rachel struggling and Isaiah waking up starving and crying. So today while Aaron was working Rachel spiked a fever and I rushed her and Malachi to Urgent Care to make sure we didn't have croup or whooping cough and praise Jesus they do not. Little Rachel got a steroid treatment to help calm her down and we are working on the fever. Malachi...just Mucinex and he'll be fine. Isaiah...recovering and keeping his food down...my folks resting at my sisters house all day....Mawmaw, well...lets say this vacation for her has deffinetely been full. And Aaron is doing good at work...me



......weeewhh! I am more tired than I have ever been. We felt it was important that I not go last night or this morning to Caleb because our 3 at home needed me badly. I was super sad and miss him terribly and have lost it a few times when I can't seem to manage the three being sick. But I am reminded...the Lord has never ever left me. He has never put me in anything that He cannot get me through. He has blessed me abundantly and I will not let anything at all make me not praise Him. A few days ago on my way to see Caleb I had the radio on and rarely do I get to listen to it since usually Veggie Tales is playing every single time I am in the car...so I heard this song. It reminded me that I am broken in the greatest of ways. I am humbled in my struggle to not be in control of taking care of my family and I am blessed in it. Holidays...schmolidays...ha! It is just a time that's it. There will be others. And quite frankly I really seem to have been blessed with something greater than a oober present filled and laughter full holiday. I have two of the most wonderful things I really needed right now. I have Caleb. And I am back in a place where I am before my Savior more daily than I have been in a long long time. And I love it, even if it seems I should be upset that all these things happened to put me there...I LOVE IT. Here are the lyrics to the song...and some amazing pictures my sister took on Dec. 26th and 28th , I think...

I was sure by now God.
You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen",
and it's still raining
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

[Chorus:]And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember whenI stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on

If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls

I barely hear You whisper through the rain

"I'm with you"

And as Your mercy falls

I raise my hands and praise the God who gives

And takes away

[Chorus]I lift my eyes unto the hills

Where does my help come from?

My help comes from the Lord

The Maker of Heaven and Earth

CASTING CROWNS