"To be sufficient, to be possessed of sufficient strength, to be strong, to be enough for a thing, to be satisfied, contended with....to be sufficient in oneself...satisfaction with what one has."(Vines Dictionary)
Am I content? Am I satisfied with all that the Lord has blessed me with? This is not to say that wanting something new or different or whatever is bad...it's where my heart is. Am I unsatisfied with this? It's absolutely o.k. to desire greater or better things, but when my mind and voice and intentions are pushing me away from being completely satisfied then I began the process of becoming bitter...or have a blinded view of all the greatness God has given me. It is absolutely in the moment that I am completely content that I can clearly see the path that God is weaving for me. It most of the time seems to be a path I am seeking on my own, but have been acting discontent and been seeking it my own way. It's amazing to see that even the smallest wants can lead me to be discontent. Hmm...what a struggle but a great thing that my husband just brought this whole topic up in telling our story and I know that I need to put these great verses in my heart and burn them in...NOT FORGET them.
"And God is able to make all grace abound to you, that always having all sufficiency in everything, you may have an abundance for every good deed;" -2 Corinthians 9:8 NASB
ALL things that are here are sufficient..ALL ALL ALL. Man...I hope I get it! It's not about the end of this verse, although we'd like to think that it's great to receive that "abundance"...but we ALREADY have. Man...the Lord Jesus is that...literally. Through out my life it's been clear to me that my closest, best, most loving friend was Jesus Christ and no matter how weird I seemed to my classmates/family/or whoever I knew He was all I needed. Can I see that now? Absolutely.
"But godliness actually is a means of great gain, when accompanied by contentment."- 1 Timothy 6:6 NASB
Lord Jesus, draw me nearer to you and brake this habit of discontentment. No matter what that means to me I do not want to be unsatisfied with this life you've given me and the Life you gave on the cross. Thank you for my family, my house, my job as a wife and mom, my amazing husband, these clothes, my bed, food to eat and so much much much much........MORE! You are my greatest gift and yet you continue to give more. So let me seek your face and nothing more. You have blessed me abundantly and I pray to grow in godliness only by your guidance and strength.