"I don't need to ask." "We will figure it out." "I can sell more of what we have." "We really are just fine." These are my typical thoughts. Yep, it is a huge step and major shift in my paradigm to truly reach out and ask for help. I have found that I trust very much in my frugality and great use of used items to provide what is only necessary for our family. I would pride myself in not spending much and getting ridiculously almost free items. I would lower every use we have in our house to cut cost and to save what we have to make it last. And in those good habits...I still believed that I was trusting the Lord to be provider. Yes, in the midst of these actions I knew I was doing my best to steward what He had given us and me as a wife. Truly most of these things I did and still do are good. Not bad. But as I sit and search my heart I find that there is a lot of "I" in the control seat of these actions. It is truly good to sit before the Lord and allow Him to show us even the smallest actions that we do can not involve Him. And He deserves to be completely in control. Besides, why would I...an imperfect small human being, want to be in control??? Yes...I know He created me and in me are great things...only from HIM! Without Him I am nothing. Absolutely in need of a Savior and I need to continue to find myself saying, "You, God are enough." I have many many steps to go. I love this journey.
In the midst of this journey and working this major area of my heart I find that He has great amazing ways of showing me His great great love for us. As many of you know we are selling all we have to live in Haiti. This past year we were super blessed to live off Aaron's 401K as we both attended Impact195 and about a month ago the funds were almost out. Reality hit and we prayed about what He wanted us to do. Aaron prayed about stepping into part time work while we tried to fundraise, prepare for us to move to Haiti, prepare our team for Haiti, and homeschool and raise our kids!!! HA! If it was His will for Aaron to work nights that would just have to be a season to really press in, but He put it on our hearts to try to sell the Suburban since we truly don't need it here in California and it wouldn't be wise to try to store it while we are gone. So we began to look into selling it and the dealers offer's were pretty low. So after asking around we took the leap to try and list it on Craigslist...which I thought was crazy because, well, that's a lot of cash to have available for a vehicle! So, Monday rolled around two weeks ago and God just decided it was time to pour out! That morning we got approved for Food Stamps...which we had been without for 4 months and this is a HUGE help! Praise Jesus. Then that night we got a call from a man interested in the Suburban. He offered more than the dealerships...banked at our bank...and was ready to look at it in the morning at our bank! Tuesday morning he showed up...tested it..and transferred the money instantly! It sold in 6 days...just like our house did in Colorado when we decided to trust the Lord to move here!
That night I posted a praise on the Impact facebook page and asked that they continue to pray for the Lord to provide a vehicle that would fit our family of 6 until we leave. And someone...I didn't know her...posted that I should call her. Ok...I sat down and called her. Here's how it went. "hello. I don't know you. We've never met. But I have seen your posts and your family has been on my heart. I graduated from Impact about 5 years ago. Man...I'm not the kind of person to let anyone use any of my vehicles....but God keeps putting you all on my heart. Here's the deal. I have a minivan that is parked. No one is driving it and I was about to cancel the insurance this week on it because I can't afford it. If you guys could pay for the insurance until you leave you can use it." I just started crying. WOW! God, you will never cease to amaze this child of yours. It is an unbelievable thing to think that You spoke to this woman, who doesn't know us at ALL, and she is willing to give us her van...and let me say...it's a VERY NICE van! WOW! WOW! WOW! What amazes me even more is the opportunity to minister to those that You bring into our lives to bless us. When Aaron met with Jennifer to do the insurance he was able to find out that she had felt that she couldn't hear from the Lord anymore. She was struggling. And in that moment, You spoke through Aaron to her that she clearly heard You...she was loaning her nice van to complete strangers who had prayed for You to provide! You are doing so many things and so many times we are too busy to see it!
Along with the van and food stamps...I am amazed at what the Lord is doing through our fundraising too! We are about 75% of our first time needs and 1/3 of the way on our monthly support! Praise Jesus! Yesterday, I was again taken back...first this past weekend our best friends...and family, the Eckarts came to visit one last time before we leave the country. They blessed us abundantly with things our kids need for Haiti! Then yesterday afternoon a woman I have never met, from the Storehouse on Facebook, arrived to give us a girls sleeping bag and a mosquito net. To my surprise she had also gone to Costco and given us EmergenC, bandaids and some natural oil to help us!! Here's where I know that my God is just blowing my mind. We have been selling or giving away things that at one point I truly prized. And now I am glad to know that they are gone and the lives we will touch are coming when we move to Haiti! And people we've never met are being moved by our God to help us...and in HUGE ways! Thank you Father for reminding me that you never hold back and you're not a God who says that you only give to those that are perfect. You desire to give us so much and man..it's not the used bad stuff...even though I love used things too! You amaze me Father. Thank you for your sweet reminders that You have already gone before us and prepared a way for us to get Haiti and if there is a need...YOU WILL PROVIDE through Your amazing love!