When will I just trust.....
Seasons. Transitions. Flexibility. Adaptability.
These words have been our lives for the past 5 years. Has it become our normal? In some ways, I would have to say yes. Our children have greatly enjoyed the many fun places we've stayed, other kiddo's toys, pools in some hotels and lots of airline flights! And passport stamped! What? Not something I ever experienced as a child. It has been such an incredible life and we know there is way more to walk in for our family. Yet, today.....I am sitting in a friends house searching for a place to rent here in San Diego for 5 months, and I am wondering if all of these choices the past 2 months have been right! I have contemplated what I really desire for our family; where I hope to live; what is my purpose(Yes...I have even walked down those thoughts); why is this tough this time?
It is in this place that I find myself again. Although, in the past I thought those thoughts while seeing my children struggle to enter a third-world country, with no running water and electricity for 5 days and stomach issues to boot! And here I am, sitting in the US...comfortable. Food is readily available and super super super easy to cook, power is always on, water is there(and hot and has pressure)....and I am pondering was this a good choice? I feel that the most important things to really sit and think on are 3 questions we thought through when we decided to move our family to Haiti to share the love of Jesus in another country.
Those questions are: What decision helps you to know your Heavenly Father better? What decision takes more faith and grows your faith more? And, what decision will bear more fruit?
We have taken this crazy step to breathe for 5 months and recuperate, and yet almost every day someone asks, "So, what are you guys going to do after?" Not that that is an unfair question. It completely makes sense in this culture of "go-go-go" and have a plan and make sure your safe and protected and provided for. I see the good and after being so far away from this...my eyes have seen some major differences between His heart, and the way we live that is defined by culture and not Him. And I truly deeply want to live with His heart no matter what country I am in. So, I can now say that in both countries it is super difficult! I am so grateful for what I am learning and I hope to continue to be stretched and to be in this crazy place of the unknown. It does draw me close to Jesus. He is the only place that makes things clear. And even though we have no place to rent yet, I have Him. He is constant and His love is perfect and I know He is absolutely not disappointed in us.
I have felt His peace and been so comforted by sweet moments where He shows me He is using this crazy moving around situation for His glory. Little comments about how loving our children are. Or, people out of the blue, offering to help us find a home. He is doing things. Always. And clearly, I know He does not need us...He will do His great and loving will...and we get the amazing blessing of choosing to be a part of it and see Him work...or we can close our hearts and eyes and choose to miss out. I hope..no matter what season, transition, or crazy situation we get into, that my heart and eyes remain open to see His work and be available to be used by Him.
So that's where I am today. We may be homeless, vehicle-less.....but we are His and after writing this...I am refreshed by what He is teaching me in it!
These words have been our lives for the past 5 years. Has it become our normal? In some ways, I would have to say yes. Our children have greatly enjoyed the many fun places we've stayed, other kiddo's toys, pools in some hotels and lots of airline flights! And passport stamped! What? Not something I ever experienced as a child. It has been such an incredible life and we know there is way more to walk in for our family. Yet, today.....I am sitting in a friends house searching for a place to rent here in San Diego for 5 months, and I am wondering if all of these choices the past 2 months have been right! I have contemplated what I really desire for our family; where I hope to live; what is my purpose(Yes...I have even walked down those thoughts); why is this tough this time?
It is in this place that I find myself again. Although, in the past I thought those thoughts while seeing my children struggle to enter a third-world country, with no running water and electricity for 5 days and stomach issues to boot! And here I am, sitting in the US...comfortable. Food is readily available and super super super easy to cook, power is always on, water is there(and hot and has pressure)....and I am pondering was this a good choice? I feel that the most important things to really sit and think on are 3 questions we thought through when we decided to move our family to Haiti to share the love of Jesus in another country.
Those questions are: What decision helps you to know your Heavenly Father better? What decision takes more faith and grows your faith more? And, what decision will bear more fruit?
We have taken this crazy step to breathe for 5 months and recuperate, and yet almost every day someone asks, "So, what are you guys going to do after?" Not that that is an unfair question. It completely makes sense in this culture of "go-go-go" and have a plan and make sure your safe and protected and provided for. I see the good and after being so far away from this...my eyes have seen some major differences between His heart, and the way we live that is defined by culture and not Him. And I truly deeply want to live with His heart no matter what country I am in. So, I can now say that in both countries it is super difficult! I am so grateful for what I am learning and I hope to continue to be stretched and to be in this crazy place of the unknown. It does draw me close to Jesus. He is the only place that makes things clear. And even though we have no place to rent yet, I have Him. He is constant and His love is perfect and I know He is absolutely not disappointed in us.
I have felt His peace and been so comforted by sweet moments where He shows me He is using this crazy moving around situation for His glory. Little comments about how loving our children are. Or, people out of the blue, offering to help us find a home. He is doing things. Always. And clearly, I know He does not need us...He will do His great and loving will...and we get the amazing blessing of choosing to be a part of it and see Him work...or we can close our hearts and eyes and choose to miss out. I hope..no matter what season, transition, or crazy situation we get into, that my heart and eyes remain open to see His work and be available to be used by Him.
So that's where I am today. We may be homeless, vehicle-less.....but we are His and after writing this...I am refreshed by what He is teaching me in it!
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