31 Days reflecting on our lives in Haiti, Day 2

Day 2

Parenting and relationships. 

Sounds like a fantastic topic. Tons of people would flood the doors to sit and learn how to get better at them both! Well, we are forever learning in these areas. In our preparation to move to Haiti let's be honest. We did not take classes or training on how to jump into another culture with our children. We didn't sit through marriage conferences on how to protect your marriage when you become an oversees missionary.  We surely didn't take training on becoming the minority and how that would effect all relationships around you. But, of course we spent every minute we had available doing amazing trainings that were NOT directly focused on these things, but would be foundational tools we desperately needed. 

Care counseling and deliverance through forgiveness.

Design and the dynamics of peoples personalities together.

Conflict RESOLUTION! 

Oh, praise Jesus for these things. Yes, I would've paid half our rent to have focused training from people who'd been parents in oversees missions. Or married couples that lived in a country that had less then 4% of the population actually married. 

When I sat down and began to tell stories of the beginning in Haiti I was actually in awe of how so many patterns in our parenting went out the door. I realized I had completely, completely forgotten that our sweet 3 year old, Caleb, needed a nap daily. 

Trying to keep massive avocados from falling on our PVC pipes on the roof and emptying our water tank supply became a priority. Trying to figure out where to buy a trash can took days. Days of walking in 96 degrees, not knowing the language and going hut to hut, small store to small store trying to find a paint bucket for trash. Every time you're out you're a spectacle. And everyone...everyone has a need(at least from the perspective of America) It became clear that we entered a place that literally lives in trauma every single day. And we, as a family, were living that way too. 

If you've been to Haiti and stayed outside of a hotel some of the realities of our lives are shocking. Let me explain... the city power comes on some days from 7pm-11pm. You really don't know when you'll have power, but if you have the ability to own a battery set(like 8 car batteries) then the city power runs to your home and charges those batteries so that, hopefully your tiny fridge and fans stay on all night when your room is 91degrees. I explained the water struggle yesterday and for us I think our water line broke or was broken by someone at least 5-7 times. Two of those times when Aaron was away with our team for a week!  Almost everything you do that involves money is a haggle. Literally maybe 4 stores I knew of in town had firm prices and no negotiating.  In order for us to get around we had to learn the cost of taxi rides(motorcycle...no helmets) SO FUN! The majority of our food comes from a massive open market. 

Especially if we want meat....

Yep...this is where the meat is!  Tin roof and make sure you get there in the morning before the real heat kicks in! 

The reality that we didn't really prepare for was being the foreigner. Really, we are the whites. Whenever we were seen the locals yelled, "Blan! Blan!" I think that sounds cool when you read it. But when you live in this country it has very different meanings then just being someone different then what they are used to seeing. That's really not it.  What is behind that word is the expectations. With those expectations was the reality that no matter our knowledge of the right "price" to pay for a taxi, we would be overcharged. Then, for repairs on our home. For everything in the market. And someone would be at our gate almost every other day in need. I have a lot to say on this subject, but that's not the focus for today. 

But, here's a snippet of what we wrestled with. In this video I'm truly focused on the exhausted 3 year old not able to finish his dinner, because I literally forgot to give him naps....but listen to what our older kids are talking to Aaron about. The preface is that they were in the town with Aaron and struggles came up with kids following them and then asking them for things or yelling at them.

This conversation would happen multiple times and would be challenging for us in so many ways, because truthfully we were struggling with hurt after hurt. Deceit after deceit and beginning to allow a wall of dis-trust build towards all locals. This is not a defeated story. Do not get me wrong. We struggled in our hearts with this feeling a lot. And I know now, I can say God has shown me and helped me to look a little more like Him. 

How He can love those who persecuted Him. How He could know someone He walked with and loved on daily for 3 years would be the one to betray Him. And yet, Jesus never took offense. He never stopped loving. He never stopped serving and always overflowed the fullness of joy.

The challenges we met daily in our parenting were magnified and so was every struggle we had in our marriage. We knew this would happen...thanks to one of our awesome teachers who'd lived in missions. But we truly didn't know how that would look. We had no idea what struggles each kid would have and we surely didn't plan to be utterly wiped out daily ourselves. Our margin was thin daily. But as I was thinking about this day. These days I would share with you I want to share the amazing victory we have now in going deep into the struggles. Not taking the easy way out or throwing in the towel. As the time went on He allowed us to get to places we had no idea wounds were festering. And freedom came. Healing won! Not just in Aaron and I. But in our kids! I am so excited to take you into those moments.  But to end this challenging day I took you into let me share some fun moments our kids had in learning to absolutely love each other. Without all the distractions and all the man made entertainment....love and laughter prevails....

Freeze dance parties became a hit!