No pictures. No sweet stories of my kids. Today I need to write what is on my heart. So many things continue to weigh on my heart. BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
As I started to write the title of this blog I knew exactly what many people would think. It will get better.....
So a sweet couple from our church is begining the fight for cancer in their sweet 3 year old daughter, Esther. A wonderful friend who was a groomsman in our wedding lost his precious son to a terrible disease. Aaron's assistant manager's fiance was in a head on collision in which the other driver died and his 14 year old daughter. His 6 year old is doing ok at Childrens Hospital. Cassie is in the ICU with blood in her lungs, last we heard.....This is not fun to think on. I find myself wanting my four little ones to just enjoy silence for the day so I can gather my thoughts. My thoughts...really? I know that the world wants me to look at these things and say "It will get better. You will have better days." Things like that have been said to me ever since Caleb came into the world 9 weeks early. I have never spent much time really thinking on this idea but ever since December I really feel that the Lord has reminded me of one great thing. This world is fallen.
I cannot change that. It surely doesn't mean that every day is hard or terrible. It most deffinetely doesn't mean that I do not have joy or love or hope. It means that I should absolutely never take for granted every moment I have to share with every person I know the love of my Savior. That's the only reason I can see and truly experience joy is because of my Savior who gave everything for me. I find that when I sieze those moments to share of His love with anyone or watch the gentle and sweet understanding my children have of their Savior I am filled with great joy.
So I find myself today reminded of the severity of this fallen world. I rejoice that Esther knows my Savior and her parentst rest in Him with truth laid before Him of their fears and anger at this disease. I pray fervantly for our friend who lost his sweet son. I pray for the deep deep desire for Jesus to burn again in him and heal his heart and his family. I pray for sweet Cassie and Adam...Jesus heal her body. Bring them to you. Let Aaron and I never ever be ashamed to speak of your love to them and please heal the other driver and his son.
I find shelter in You. I know You are real. I know You have saved me and desire to save all your children. May I be a light even with every flaw I have. Use me. Let me never waist time thinking "I can tell them later". If I feel as if telling others about truth is not important or embarassing....I need to check my own faith in the Word of God. So...in the midst of so many prayer request and gathering my thoughts I recognize my need to speak. TRUTH. Please pray for these friends. And...well if I left you uncomfortable or with questions...ask. It's my job....no it's my life.
"For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline." -2Timothy 1:7